Erasure
by streco
Summary: Charlie and Bella get into a heated argument over Edward, who is upstairs waiting for Bella. Upon returning to him, Edward forces her to explain the extent of her depression. one shot, post New Moon.


If you haven't discovered this by now, I'm a bit of a flaming nutcase. I don't know where this idea aroused from, but here's the thing. I'm a big person on compassion. I love to see people, in books and TV shows, get hurt, and then see how people react around them. I think it's kind of... demonic, but I just love to see compassion and love and concern come out of people. So... this sort of wrote itself. It's a lot of description, but I'm proud of it. Graci (:

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Erasure

Edward was waiting in the bedroom.

Edward was waiting in the bedroom, and I was being forced to make conversation with Charlie. This was one of the small things in life that bothered me. Here I was, in love with a flawless vampire, who was sitting on my bed, waiting for me to greet him with open arms. My love. The very sight of his face had the ability to make me pass out, and here I was, trying to keep my focus in having a one-on-one talk with my _father_.

"Bella," he said seriously, noticing how I wasn't completely there. He waved a hand in front of my face. "Bella…" he sighed now, and sat back in his chair. "What am I going to do with you?" he asked, more to himself, as he looked out the window across the kitchen. "This is ridiculous, Bella. He's reeled you in, and you're lost in him."

This perked me right up, and now I was prepared to defend said vampire on my bed. "What was that, Dad?" I challenged, my eyes pushing holes into his forehead. "Don't start this again, Dad," I begged, frowning. "I'm in love with Edward. I'm sorry that that bothers you… I'm sorry it reminds you of you and Mom," I added gently, "but it's different. Edward and I… we _know_. There's something about it—"

"It's the same thing your mother said, Bella," he cut in sharply, and then sighed again. "I know it's different for you two. When your mother left me, I could function. I missed you more than I missed her. When Edward left you… you shut down completely," his whisper was almost silent.

Charlie was never one for words, unless he was angry, that's for sure. Now, he was letting me see the true side of him, the side of him that loved unconditionally with his heart. "Dad," I started, and covered his calloused hand with mine, softer, gentler. "He did it for my benefit."

I realized that I'd never tried to explain this to him before, and it instantly made him angry. "_Your _benefit?" he roared, and then stood up in a huff. "Isabella _Swan!_ Don't you _dare _tell me he did it for _you _benefit! I watched you turn into the _ghost _of the person you used to be. That night when Sam found you, you weren't even _alive! _I could've _sworn _you were dead. We could've held your funeral that _night!_"

"Dad—" I could feel the hole in my chest reopen, torn apart by his agony.

"No!" he shouted back, and was pacing the kitchen. There was no stopping him now. "I've kept quiet about this for _too _long! I wish that Edward were here right now, so he could _hear _all this! You weren't _you_, Bella. _Four _months of your life that you will _never _get back. You didn't eat for weeks, you barely spoke—you were a _zombie!_ I couldn't talk to you. I was scared out of my mind! And then you lived again. Jacob brought you back, and now you throw him away like used trash!"

If I hadn't realized I was crying before, I did now. "_You _listen to _me_, Charlie! Edward moved away with his family because he was afraid… afraid—he didn't want me to get too attached, because they move a lot! And the Cullens have a _lot _of people that hate them—he didn't want me to get dragged into that! If you'd listen to his side, you'd realize that he's stronger than _either _of us! He suffered hour by the hour—ask Alice. He moved out of their house and—you just—you can't _begin _to know!" I was shrieking at the end, delirious.

"Isabella," Charlie's voice was low. "You _can't _defend him."

"But I _can!_ Jacob is the one who ditched _me_. He hates the Cullens like the _rest _of the Quileutes do! I don't want to have to decide!" It was so very frustrating to not be able to explain the whole bit to Charlie. It's impossible to understand otherwise. "Edward _loves _me, he had the strength to _leave _for me, I _still _love _him,_ and you're making all of this worse by tearing open the gash that has just healed!"

I was sobbing, nearly falling over in fatigue. "You don't understand! You can't. You just _can't_. You will _never _experience _anything _like what I feel for Edward, _ever_. Thank you for reminding me of everything. That's great, Dad. I'm going up to my room, _please _don't open the door."

Pivoting, I stomped up the stairs, tripping twice, and exploded into my room, slamming the door as hard as I could behind me. I stumbled blindly for the bed, but I found something better—Edward's arms.

"Shhh," he whispered into my ear, his arms tight around me. I could feel his chest heaving as well, and his eyes were full of agony. If he were human enough to produce tears, he would've been, I was sure. "It's okay, I'm here, I will _never _leave you," he murmured, winding his hands into my hair. "I love you, Bella. Don't ever forget that."

This touching scene must've rolled on for hours, because all my tears from the depression were re-releasing themselves now. When it finally came to an end, Edward was still shaking, something that shocked me, and his hands were stroking my hair delicately. "I'm sorry you had to see that," I told him, and pulled my face from his soaked shirt.

He shook his head, still shaking slightly. "I had to," he whispered. His breath was still as thick as honey, and his voice was still soft as velvet. "You need to tell me exactly what happened," he added, his voice a struggle to remain steady.

"Are… are you—"

"Yes, I'm sure. I have to know. I feel… I feel even guiltier without the information."

I sighed. "I don't know if _I _can do it, Edward," I reasoned, and he shook his head.

"I know you can. You're a strong girl."

I exhaled again, and shook my head. "Okay." I rose to my feet and stood at the end of the bed, pacing as Charlie had done moments before. "You heard what Charlie—"

"Yes," he cut me off. "But… tell it yourself."

"Okay. Um… well. You left me in the forest," I began. "I wandered for… for a long time. I didn't know where I was. I had no sense of… anything, really. I fell at some point, and curled into a ball, and just sat there. Sam Uley found me on the ground, and there was apparently some big search going. He wanted me to stand, I remember… but I didn't… I couldn't… I just couldn't function. I didn't know what he was saying. He carried me back to Charlie… and that was the end of that night, basically.

"After that, I really can't tell you much. I didn't answer anyone, apparently. I didn't eat. Didn't sleep. Didn't answer unless directly spoken to. Never provided insight. Any free time was wasted aching. I got used to holding myself together with my arms. Whenever someone mentioned you guys, even in the most vague terms, I'd stop breathing. It was… the most difficult thing I've ever gone through. I had nightmares every night. The same one. I woke up screaming at the end, and for the first few nights, Charlie came in, afraid that I'd been murdered or something. After that, he didn't do much…"

I looked at Edward, who was shaking again, his knuckles white in fists. His eyes were tortured, and I ran over to him and hugged him. "I'm stopping. I can't do this to you. I'm sorry. I just… I can't do it." I started to cry again. "Don't make me do this to you, please, Edward."

"You have to finish." His voice was husky. "Please, please finish."

And so, I sat on the bed, holding him as tightly as I could with my arms, trying to keep him in one piece. I rushed most of the words out. "I went to Port Angeles with Jess for a night to see a movie, a zombie movie, I refused to watch a romance. We saw some guys that reminded me of that night when you'd come to save me. I don't know what I was thinking, but I walked up to them, maybe hoping you'd come to save me again. I scared the crap out of Jess, because she hasn't hung out with me since. I was just trying… I don't know. But I heard your voice.

"I heard it. I heard you. Edward Cullen. In my ear, telling me to stop being such an idiot. And it saved me. Your voice… I don't know how it got there… but I just… I knew you cared about me. I knew you loved me. And after that day, all it was about was getting that voice to speak to me again. I found bikes, me and Jake fixed them up, he taught me how to ride them. I got hurt more than I heard your voice, but it was worth it, big time. I just needed… I needed it. I needed you, Edward. My body couldn't function without you."

I stopped to breathe, and I found that he'd stopped shaking mostly.

"That was about the time I jumped off the cliff…"

It started again.

"It was recreation. And I figured, hey, stupid things bring Edward back. If I jump, he'll speak to me. And you did. In the water, I wanted to give up, but you made me swim. Your voice was begging with me, so real, exactly what you would've said at the time. It was ridiculous…

"Harry Clearwater died, and Charlie was at his funeral. That was the funeral that Jacob told you about… the one you mistook. And then, Alice and I got on a plane to Italy, stole a bright yellow Porsche, bought our way into the middle of Volterra… and, badabing, here we are… you and I, on my bed, embracing, trying to hold each other together."

It was silent. It felt so good to get it all off my chest, but Edward was feeling horrible, that I knew. "I tore a hole in your chest," Edward put his hand on top of my left breast, feeling my heartbeat. "Right there. That's the sound that I live for," he exhaled. "And I ripped it clear out of you."

"But you're back now," I countered. "I'm okay… I'm healing. I'm healed, actually. You're here."

"Is the hole gone?" he asked dubiously.

I sucked in a deep breath and exhaled. "Um… let's test it. Say you're leaving."

"Bella—"

"Do it!"

He sighed. "I'm leaving."

I inhaled again. "Good. My heart thinks you mean temporarily. It didn't take it the wrong way." I grinned. "See what you've turned me into? A physician, that's what."

"So… you're okay?"

"Edward. It's like… getting stitches. You ripped a hole in me; Jacob was the staples that kept it shut while it healed. Now the staples are gone, and the hole is healed, but I'm always going to have that scar that'll be a little tenderer than the rest of my skin. Get it?"

He nodded. "I'm going to do my best to erase that scar from you," he whispered, and his lips crashed upon mine.

From the way he was acting, I could deal with that. I could deal with erasure.

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Yaaay. I don't like the end all that much at _all_, it sort of just abruptly stopped... but whatever. If you liked this, I'm sure you'll like _Phase_, my other Twilight fic, if you haven't read it yet.

I LOVE MY REVIEWER DEMIGODS, by the way. (:

Thanks for reading!

steph.

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